Being TG myself, one of the little nagging fears in the back of my mind is the worry that I might influence one of my children to this lifestyle, or that maybe genetics plays a part in it and they are already "doomed".
So the other day my two year old son came clopping through the living room in a pair of my heels and with one of his big sisters purses hanging from his shoulder. He was quite pleased with himself and kept repeating the words "Shoes", "Purse", and "pretty". It wasn't the first time he has done something like this, and so I visibly winced at the sight. Not out of any kind of irritation, anger, or shame, but out of worry and concern. I wouldn't wish this head trip and lifestyle on my worst enemy and I sure as hell wouldn't want any of my own children to suffer through what I have gone through.
My wife saw the look on my face and started to laugh.
"Matthew, stop worrying about it. EVERY little boy is going to play with his sister and mommies things. It's perfectly normal." She tried to reassure me.
"Yeah, I know, it's just that it worries me. I dont want him growing up with the head trips I had"
"Well Billy (our oldest son) did the very same thing and he turned out just fine, so stop worrying about it."
"I can't help it - it DOES worry me." I told her.
"Well you dont need to, it's perfectly normal, and if he IS like you then we will just deal with it!" she replied.
I don't think my wife realized just how much she impressed me at that moment . . .
A lot of people travel for work, so that's no real big deal, but it gets a bit more complicated when you are transgender.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
"Then we will deal with it!"
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It's a real fear for me as well. If it does happen with my son, I can only hope I am better at dealing with it than my parents were. Thanks for sharing this encouragement.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of little boys play around like this. I don't think it's any kind of precursor to gender issues. I do understand your concerns. Although I've pretty much come to terms with my crossdressing, it doesn't make life any easier and it took me a long time to get over feeling strange, alone and guilty.
ReplyDeleteThe best part of your story is your wife's reaction. She sounds great. Has she always been so understanding?
Kimberly -
ReplyDeleteYou are very lucky to have a great wife!!!!
And if your son does exhibit the same interests as you, BOTH you and your wife will show a greater understanding and compassion than many others in similar circumstances. (Your son is also a very lucky person!!!)
Chris
If, and I mean IF it happens, at least he has a good role model to help him through the difficulties- which you DIDN'T have.
ReplyDeleteThink about it that way...
Just reading your words for the first time. With tears in my eyes. Why can't all wives have this love compassion and understanding? The beauty of seeing this is the slow changing towards acceptance and change.
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